28 - Animal Instincts & Me
by danielml on November 26, 2006

I had some things to pick up from Meijer's today.  So I rode down W. KL and up on 9th.  The ride went fast.  I felt strong.  

When you get a little pumped from excercise like a bike ride, there are a few places you don't want to be.  I discovered that Meijer's on a Sunday afternoon is one of them.  I rode around the store looking for a bike rack.  I asked one of the employees outside if they had a bike rack.  He looked at me quite confused.  I said, "a rack, y'know, to lock up bicycles".  The light flickered for a moment as he tried to process what I was saying.  Finally his face lit up in understanding as he looked at my helmet and down at my bicycle.  "Oh, uh, I don't think so."

I chained my bike to one of those outdoor shoppingcart cues and walked into the blazing inferno of flourescent lights, elevator music and folks shambling along like cows.  The adrenaline was still thump-pumping and the sweat was still pouring.  There's nothing more aggravating then watching a Michigan Sea Cow grazing on aisle 7 when you just want to get to your fucking coffee.  I was moving fast and thinking faster.  I almost lost it and threw one of the fat old bitches out of my way.  She stopped right in front of the coffee.  Looked at every single canister ... didn't take anything ... THEN WALKED TO ANOTHER AISLE.  Right as I was obviously waiting for the coffee.

Then there was the old cow who parked her shopping cart perpendicular in the lane as she stood opposite of it ... blocking the whole aisle (I swear her body was as wide as a shopping cart is long).  Luckily I could AVOID her.  "Brilliant!"  I exclaimed as I blazed past her to the packing tape and banker's boxes.

I cued for some time waiting to pay.  Keenly observing that I was carrying my bike helmet, the girl at the register said, "are you riding a bike?"  I almost replied, "No, this is the stuff I wear when I'm trying to pick up really active chicks."  But I just smiled and nodded.  I assured her that I had bungees to tie down the banker's boxes.

The ride home was fast, foot loose and fancy free.  Mostly downhill and it felt good to be out in the breeze again.